I do social. I go out with friends, on one to one basis, or on group outing.
All the while, I have a narrow defination for 'date'. I always think going out of a date means having two persons go out on one-to-one basis, trying to spend some time together, most probably on a prospecting level, and somehow, the moment got to be personal enough to call it a date.
On one occasion, I happened to ask a friend of mine, Em, who's married for two years, and who hold a lot of views which i think are 'traditional' enough, her defination of dating. She concluded that dating consisted of two persons (boy-girl) going out on one to one basis. Her answer was simple, so did my level of understanding.
Since then, with a broader defination of dating, I have been dating here and there, on and off. Until one day, Em who started to feel skeptical since i am always in one date to another, asked if I'm really on any dates afterall. So i answered her that I was indeed on dates, according to her defination. In her bewilderedness, she replied in an unusually high pitch tone "Aiyoohhh, that's not dating lah. You got to hold hands or kiss when dating. You are nothing close to a date lahhh." Since then, I no longer date that much as I have claimed.
A friend of mine who I would like to call as an expert in the dating scene, enlighten me on one fine day not to drill too much in the true defination of dating, "Whatever is it, just make sure you have fun when going out with the person, that's all it matters''. He commented that he find most ladies that he met do take dating rather personally.
He accounted on a recent incident that he invited a gal friend as a date to attend a dinner function. After the dinner, he offered to take her home so that he could carry on to another drinking session with another group of friends. The gal was not happy as she said she was his date for the night and he should have spent more quality time with her that night. I blamed him for being rude but he insisted he has spelled out his plan earlier to her when inviting, and he did invited her to join but as he expected, she was not up to pubbing and drinking session. The incident further 'strengthen' his belief that gals can take 'dating' too serious, so he got to be more careful in choosing one in future.
Though on and off, i still confused about a thing or two about dating, while at the mean time, i do learn a thing or two as well...
1) Should gal be paying on date sometimes?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not the die-hard male-female total equality sorta concept supporter. I respect guys who pay for dates, of coz i despise females who took the situation for granted, ordered the finest wine/food she would never do so on her own account. I do pay, or rather buy my dates meals occasionally as a returning favour for their past treats whenever I can. I have done one of the deadly sin of dating, according to most of my gal friends when told.
2) Should gal be picking up her date?
Again, I do that. I'm in sales and drive all the time. Compared to non-sales people, I think i am more deprived of the comfort of being driven around. I know how good it feels not having to be put behind the wheels. I believe it's a good intention if i want to drive my date around, and i think they would enjoy that too. But then again, I have done one of the deadly sin of dating, as told.
3) Should gal be asking for a date?
I do that too, only when necessary though. I find myself contradicting, though i thought I have been a liberal person. In my ideal world, guy should be the one asking for a date, of coz it would not take long for me to answer yes! (I don't pretend when I yearn to date the particular guy!) Anyway, I don't mind asking occasionally to keep the dating spark on.
4) .....
Don't get me wrong, i still have LOTSA doubts, too much in my head that I can't recall anynow. I'll add in more if I can recall any. I don't mind any input though....gimme a beep!
Till then, to all the fellow drifters in the sea of dating, happy dating!
