I do social. I go out with friends, on one to one basis, or on group outing.
All the while, I have a narrow defination for 'date'. I always think going out of a date means having two persons go out on one-to-one basis, trying to spend some time together, most probably on a prospecting level, and somehow, the moment got to be personal enough to call it a date.
On one occasion, I happened to ask a friend of mine, Em, who's married for two years, and who hold a lot of views which i think are 'traditional' enough, her defination of dating. She concluded that dating consisted of two persons (boy-girl) going out on one to one basis. Her answer was simple, so did my level of understanding.
Since then, with a broader defination of dating, I have been dating here and there, on and off. Until one day, Em who started to feel skeptical since i am always in one date to another, asked if I'm really on any dates afterall. So i answered her that I was indeed on dates, according to her defination. In her bewilderedness, she replied in an unusually high pitch tone "Aiyoohhh, that's not dating lah. You got to hold hands or kiss when dating. You are nothing close to a date lahhh." Since then, I no longer date that much as I have claimed.
A friend of mine who I would like to call as an expert in the dating scene, enlighten me on one fine day not to drill too much in the true defination of dating, "Whatever is it, just make sure you have fun when going out with the person, that's all it matters''. He commented that he find most ladies that he met do take dating rather personally.
He accounted on a recent incident that he invited a gal friend as a date to attend a dinner function. After the dinner, he offered to take her home so that he could carry on to another drinking session with another group of friends. The gal was not happy as she said she was his date for the night and he should have spent more quality time with her that night. I blamed him for being rude but he insisted he has spelled out his plan earlier to her when inviting, and he did invited her to join but as he expected, she was not up to pubbing and drinking session. The incident further 'strengthen' his belief that gals can take 'dating' too serious, so he got to be more careful in choosing one in future.
Though on and off, i still confused about a thing or two about dating, while at the mean time, i do learn a thing or two as well...
1) Should gal be paying on date sometimes?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not the die-hard male-female total equality sorta concept supporter. I respect guys who pay for dates, of coz i despise females who took the situation for granted, ordered the finest wine/food she would never do so on her own account. I do pay, or rather buy my dates meals occasionally as a returning favour for their past treats whenever I can. I have done one of the deadly sin of dating, according to most of my gal friends when told.
2) Should gal be picking up her date?
Again, I do that. I'm in sales and drive all the time. Compared to non-sales people, I think i am more deprived of the comfort of being driven around. I know how good it feels not having to be put behind the wheels. I believe it's a good intention if i want to drive my date around, and i think they would enjoy that too. But then again, I have done one of the deadly sin of dating, as told.
3) Should gal be asking for a date?
I do that too, only when necessary though. I find myself contradicting, though i thought I have been a liberal person. In my ideal world, guy should be the one asking for a date, of coz it would not take long for me to answer yes! (I don't pretend when I yearn to date the particular guy!) Anyway, I don't mind asking occasionally to keep the dating spark on.
4) .....
Don't get me wrong, i still have LOTSA doubts, too much in my head that I can't recall anynow. I'll add in more if I can recall any. I don't mind any input though....gimme a beep!
Till then, to all the fellow drifters in the sea of dating, happy dating!
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Risk VS Benefit of The Unlay?
Out of boredom and having to sit in a training session, a slide showing that women who had the first pregnancy after 30 have a recorded higher risk of developing breast cancer somehow looks and sound like a pain in the ass to me.
As self-rescue act, I have sent this piece of info out to my gal gangs and I have a few returns, which have lighten my heavy day being needed to sit in a session with those who try to get their job done.
“Girls, do you know that women having first pregnancy after 30 have higher breast cancer risk? Better get laid and lay soon!” My sms spread out, and unexpectedly, the replies were of much fun and have provided some insightful story of the so-called new breed of gals in the 21st century.
“Sigh, no partner now…” mid 20s Eve who has just got out of a turning-bored relationship reply solemnly. Eve has been seen dragging her single guy friends around, trying to ‘rejuvenate’ herself in the social clubbing scene again. Her acts, unavoidably has created much speculation that she’s ‘on heat’, for another new relationship, of course.
“Any target recently? The risk is even higher if you never give birth, ha-ha!” the usual cool and sensible Meng threw in another alarming piece of pain-in-the-ass fact.
“Still looking for the elusive sperm! Got any fine specimen?” Ann, in her mid 30s, who is a single mother of 7 years old and been considering her daughter’s ‘request’ for a sibling.
“I had an ‘accident’ last weekend and am worried. Now it seems getting pregnant at is moment not a bad thing at all…” Unpredictable 26-years old Ping responded cheekily! This girl currently enjoying her new long distance relationship, after gone through a horrible break up, when the ex has knelt and knock his head till bleed to ask for a patch up. Long distance relationship came in as a good option to her after all the ‘stickiness’ of a close distance one. Cause and effect, as per say.
“Wow, let’s start production tonight! Ha-ha!” Jas, in her outspoken self. Positive response as expected as she just got to her ‘new acquired’ long-distance boyfriend.
“It’s so important until you need to send this sms 3 times in a row? He-he!” Ling complaining away of my phone acting up, while straying away from the ‘main issue’, probably a huge pain-in-the-ass to her too.
“So, what’s positioning message are you sending me? That’s why la-, I go gym everyday to minimize risk.” Replied Ho the early 30 in her usual product manager perspective, who’s also actively involving herself in the ‘flesh-flash’ uptown gym activity. This KL city gal has created some fears and worries to her mum as she decided to invest in an apartment of her own a year back.
The thing is, it looks like things will never be easy for the single girls in town. Having to face the fact that getting into relationship, and getting laid as well has never been a easy path (though one can get laid quite easy, I’m sure, but pardon me, I am referring to the one complimented by a good’o boy-girl relationship!
As firm as we want, while our single ladies out there proudly announce to the world and ourselves that it’s OK being single and uncommitted, now it seems the mother universe has lured its way into the girls’ attention, calculating a set of risk versus benefit of ‘get laid and lay’ formulation.
I can’t help to think that, is this a sign saying, it’s not that OK, after all, to exclude ourselves from the motherly responsibilities that has been assigned to us, and that we should seriously reconsider of getting into the heart wrenching relationship cycles…
If only guys can make our life easier… Now what says you, mother universe?
As self-rescue act, I have sent this piece of info out to my gal gangs and I have a few returns, which have lighten my heavy day being needed to sit in a session with those who try to get their job done.
“Girls, do you know that women having first pregnancy after 30 have higher breast cancer risk? Better get laid and lay soon!” My sms spread out, and unexpectedly, the replies were of much fun and have provided some insightful story of the so-called new breed of gals in the 21st century.
“Sigh, no partner now…” mid 20s Eve who has just got out of a turning-bored relationship reply solemnly. Eve has been seen dragging her single guy friends around, trying to ‘rejuvenate’ herself in the social clubbing scene again. Her acts, unavoidably has created much speculation that she’s ‘on heat’, for another new relationship, of course.
“Any target recently? The risk is even higher if you never give birth, ha-ha!” the usual cool and sensible Meng threw in another alarming piece of pain-in-the-ass fact.
“Still looking for the elusive sperm! Got any fine specimen?” Ann, in her mid 30s, who is a single mother of 7 years old and been considering her daughter’s ‘request’ for a sibling.
“I had an ‘accident’ last weekend and am worried. Now it seems getting pregnant at is moment not a bad thing at all…” Unpredictable 26-years old Ping responded cheekily! This girl currently enjoying her new long distance relationship, after gone through a horrible break up, when the ex has knelt and knock his head till bleed to ask for a patch up. Long distance relationship came in as a good option to her after all the ‘stickiness’ of a close distance one. Cause and effect, as per say.
“Wow, let’s start production tonight! Ha-ha!” Jas, in her outspoken self. Positive response as expected as she just got to her ‘new acquired’ long-distance boyfriend.
“It’s so important until you need to send this sms 3 times in a row? He-he!” Ling complaining away of my phone acting up, while straying away from the ‘main issue’, probably a huge pain-in-the-ass to her too.
“So, what’s positioning message are you sending me? That’s why la-, I go gym everyday to minimize risk.” Replied Ho the early 30 in her usual product manager perspective, who’s also actively involving herself in the ‘flesh-flash’ uptown gym activity. This KL city gal has created some fears and worries to her mum as she decided to invest in an apartment of her own a year back.
The thing is, it looks like things will never be easy for the single girls in town. Having to face the fact that getting into relationship, and getting laid as well has never been a easy path (though one can get laid quite easy, I’m sure, but pardon me, I am referring to the one complimented by a good’o boy-girl relationship!
As firm as we want, while our single ladies out there proudly announce to the world and ourselves that it’s OK being single and uncommitted, now it seems the mother universe has lured its way into the girls’ attention, calculating a set of risk versus benefit of ‘get laid and lay’ formulation.
I can’t help to think that, is this a sign saying, it’s not that OK, after all, to exclude ourselves from the motherly responsibilities that has been assigned to us, and that we should seriously reconsider of getting into the heart wrenching relationship cycles…
If only guys can make our life easier… Now what says you, mother universe?
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
No Monday Blues
Not this week though, as I'm enjoying my last piece of workfree moment, practically few hours before my next work day...
As today is the replacement holiday for the Labour Day of 2005!
Cheers to the labours of the world. But, perhaps it's a good day to do some good thinking of where, after all the years of labouring you've did, end you up in? Has it been a good h*ll of a deal where all the fruits of labour come piling at your doorstep, or you are practically living out the same way as you are now, except you have some extra fine lines appearing at the end of a pair of your eyes, which somehow flickering uncertainly with restlessness, despire, desire...?
As today is the replacement holiday for the Labour Day of 2005!
Cheers to the labours of the world. But, perhaps it's a good day to do some good thinking of where, after all the years of labouring you've did, end you up in? Has it been a good h*ll of a deal where all the fruits of labour come piling at your doorstep, or you are practically living out the same way as you are now, except you have some extra fine lines appearing at the end of a pair of your eyes, which somehow flickering uncertainly with restlessness, despire, desire...?
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Blue Water Swim
I like to swim in the deep blue water
For the blue water swim me thru
The sadness the fears
The happiness of sheer
I like to swim in the deep blue water
For the blue water swim me thru
The sorrow that hurts
The sourness that lurks
I like to swim in the deep blue water
For the blue water swim me thru
The soul that heals
And the life that once again live
For the blue water swim me thru
The sadness the fears
The happiness of sheer
I like to swim in the deep blue water
For the blue water swim me thru
The sorrow that hurts
The sourness that lurks
I like to swim in the deep blue water
For the blue water swim me thru
The soul that heals
And the life that once again live
One Love-Relationship Formula?
Once an internet friend I got to know from a relationship/match make site, after a few exchange of emails, he popped a rather relevant question on love and relationship. He, in his mid 30’s, said to have gone through couple of breakups, started to wonder if one could actually do ‘it’ differently, by finding someone compatible then grow the love/relationship together? He also stated that falling in love on first sight is a great thing, but many issues between couple that need to be figured out before going any further.
First, I couldn’t see the ‘light’ that he was seeing, and my reply was dully conclude that either way would be the same as it still burn down to the fundamental of both parties being able/willing to commit to a 'relationship' after that, which still, involve a lot of efforts.
After a few heart drilling meet ups with some ‘supposingly clicky’ email ‘friends’, and a witness of the marriage of a friend who undergone 9 years of courtship, the posted question popped up in my head.
Can one find someone compatible then grow the love/relationship together? Is this the simpler formula for those who don’t seem to sustain a true relationship? Let say, one day, u meet this interesting person which both of you have good feelings on, just plain good feeling and nothing more than that, and both of you agree to take this ‘acquaintance’ to a prospecting level. Say, if both of you really serious and go with one light, in search of the compatibility, will this end up something better? Perhaps you might then discover that the ‘learning curve’ of sorting out two person’s difference might be an ‘enlightening’ process itself. The decision of whether the ‘bind’ is indeed a ‘good deal’ or otherwise, will be sorted out eventually, when the clearer picture surface.
Well, isn’t this making sense? Perhaps perhaps! Again, my brain is tinkling on another alarming issue – are choices, plenty of them, good for the mankind in the world of love hunting? Should we, for once and for all, blind out our wondering heart, and start looking for one choice at a time? Worth pondering…
First, I couldn’t see the ‘light’ that he was seeing, and my reply was dully conclude that either way would be the same as it still burn down to the fundamental of both parties being able/willing to commit to a 'relationship' after that, which still, involve a lot of efforts.
After a few heart drilling meet ups with some ‘supposingly clicky’ email ‘friends’, and a witness of the marriage of a friend who undergone 9 years of courtship, the posted question popped up in my head.
Can one find someone compatible then grow the love/relationship together? Is this the simpler formula for those who don’t seem to sustain a true relationship? Let say, one day, u meet this interesting person which both of you have good feelings on, just plain good feeling and nothing more than that, and both of you agree to take this ‘acquaintance’ to a prospecting level. Say, if both of you really serious and go with one light, in search of the compatibility, will this end up something better? Perhaps you might then discover that the ‘learning curve’ of sorting out two person’s difference might be an ‘enlightening’ process itself. The decision of whether the ‘bind’ is indeed a ‘good deal’ or otherwise, will be sorted out eventually, when the clearer picture surface.
Well, isn’t this making sense? Perhaps perhaps! Again, my brain is tinkling on another alarming issue – are choices, plenty of them, good for the mankind in the world of love hunting? Should we, for once and for all, blind out our wondering heart, and start looking for one choice at a time? Worth pondering…
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